God has a sense of humor. Afterall, he gave us penguins – which are impossible not to observe and let out a chuckle or at least a smile. He also gave us truly funny people – like Jonathan Winters, Steve Martin, Jack Benny, and Bob Hope. But then, right before the Seventh Day when He rested, God gave old men ear hair. As far as I know, women of any age don’t have tufts of hair follicles … [Read more...]

I had just put a handful of mealworms in the bowl near the bluebird house and stood back to watch the male fly to the feeder and secure a beak full of worms. Suddenly, a hawk swooped over the fence, talons stretched, heading for the bluebird. Fortunately, the hawk missed as the bluebird ducked quickly, but these bluebirds are like my children, only better behaved. Startled and extremely upset, I … [Read more...]

Sportsmen face many obstacles in their outdoor careers. Driving a Jeep down a muddy, rut-filled logging road deep in a grouse covert comes to mind. But that’s not the most difficult challenge. Stepping squarely on a hornet’s nest while creeping in on a spring gobbler is no walk in the park, but worse can happen. An outdoors type might even find himself or herself between a mother bear and her cubs … [Read more...]

Went through a little place called Waverly not long ago. The peanut capitol of the world, or so they claimed. I had been dunking some bloodworms in the lower Chesapeake for croakers. Decided to come back the scenic route up Route 460 instead of fighting the US Navy getting off work on I-64 at Hampton. I loaded up on the croakers, by the way. Had a cooler full. So, it was back to Charlottesville … [Read more...]

Having too much time on your hands is not a good thing. For example. I had ordered 5,000 meal worms for my bluebirds and they came in a vented box with a bunch of cardboard to separate the layers. I inspected the contents, and all looked well, except…. How do you know if they really sent you 5,000 mealworms? If they only packed 4,900 that would be a 2 percent shortage and if some fiendish worm … [Read more...]

I am a charter member of the Charlottesville Procrastinator’s Club. We meet next Thursday, but possibly Friday. We’ll see. Anyway, I am an expert at putting things off till the last minute which drives my wife, Nancy, nuts. Last December, and don’t tell my fellow Procrastinators this, I got my registration renewal from DMV and rather than filing it away in my Get Around Tuit box, I did the … [Read more...]

In our past cruise attempts, we have gone with Norwegian, and we have been very pleased. On our cruises to Hawaii, we sailed aboard the Pride of America, a 920-foot ship that services about 2,200 passengers. The Norwegian Joy dwarfs that liner. This baby would occupy most of the Barracks Road Shopping Center. It’s 1,100 feet long and holds over 4,000 passengers with a crew of 1,821, of which 8 … [Read more...]

Women have an almost extra-terrestrial ability to transmit neurological signals through space with a single piercing look. It’s called the Evil Eye, and both children and grown men live in fear of it. My wife, Nancy, has perfected the use of her Evil Eye, which can deliver up to 500 volts of “You better watch your ass” with a range of up to 300 yards in clear weather. She used it … [Read more...]

One day, a fellow at the local bar had a bit too much to drink and decided to go ice fishing. He staggered out onto the ice and drilled a hole. As he peered into the hole, a loud voice called out, “There are no fish down there.” The drunk walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, “There are no fish down there.” He then … [Read more...]

(From Sharing Southern Fare) ELEPHANT STEW 12 medium size elephants 1 ton salt 1 ton pepper 500 bushels of potatoes 211 bushels carrots 4,000 springs parsley 2 small rabbits (optional)   Cut elephant meat into bite-size pieces. This will take about 2 months. Cut vegetables into cubes (another 2 months.). Simmer for 4 weeks. Shovel in salt and pepper to taste. … [Read more...]