I bought a package of Flonase Nasal Spray the other day. It was “blister packed”, meaning if you weren’t really desperate, you’d never be able to open and use it. I used a hammer, a chisel, kitchen shears and a butcher knife before I could finally penetrate the plastic armor the manufacturers decided to apply. By the time, I had cajoled one of the spray bottles to give itself up and come out, my … [Read more...]

I had mis-placed my wallet. That’s not unusual since I routinely leave it at various resting places around the house. So, I began my search, and I couldn’t find it. I wasn’t on the top of my dresser, nor on top of the microwave, not on the table in the foyer, not in any of my jackets or sweaters, not on the front seat of my car. Panic began to set in. I pulled up my credit card records and saw … [Read more...]

What is it about a Cheeto that if you eat just one, you would sacrifice your first born for the rest of the bag. If cocaine is as addictive as a handful of Cheetos, I now know why there are so many addicts. My best friend, the late Dave Gladwell, was a certified Cheeto-aholic. To Dave a large bag of Cheetos and a cold Miller Beer was a two-course feast. Dave ate so many Cheetos that he had an … [Read more...]

Perhaps you will be spending time with southern relatives over the holidays, but be warned. Southerners never just stand up, say goodbye and leave. There is a process, a 9-step process, and it goes exactly like this. 1. “About to leave” warning 2. “We’ve got to get going,” statement 3. Hugs 4. Walking to the driveway 5. One more conversation in the driveway 6. More hugs 7. … [Read more...]

“I called you on your cell phone and it went right into voice mail,” Nancy scolded. Voice mail? Yes, I remember voice mail. It’s a little white box on the bottom of your phone where people leave you messages when you don’t answer. I never pay it much mind because I don’t use my phone often and people don’t call me because I usually don’t answer. I confess. I am not an I-Phone kind of … [Read more...]

My advice to seniors graduating from high school and college, as well as to newlyweds starting out in life, and to all those buying a new home and to … well everybody in the whole damned world – do not under any circumstances buy a white ceramic stove top. About 6 or 7 years ago, our stove top went on the blink. It was one of those old electric burner tops that was never level – so the eggs … [Read more...]

If you’re looking for a good stock with growth potential, buy stock in a company - any company - that makes Ibuprofen. My wife Nancy and I alone will keep that stock going up. We use so many IB’s a day, we don’t dig them out of the bottle, we scatter them on counters around the house and grab a handful as we pass by. Ibuprofen (Advil is one of its brand names) is an anti-inflammatory drug … [Read more...]

We had a couple fat bullfrogs in our goldfish pond, and I had been tossing them mealworms for snacks. I was buying mealworms from an outfit called Fluker Farms and saw that they also sold live crickets. No doubt that my frogs would like a couple fat, juicy crickets for snacks, so I ordered a box of 100 from Fluker. They arrived in two days and were secured in a heavy corrugated box with wire … [Read more...]

There is Man’s Work and there is Woman’s Work. Woman’s Work includes things like dusting furniture, doing laundry, addressing Christmas cards, remembering birthdays, shopping for grandchildren, cooking Thanksgiving Dinner and shoe shopping. Man’s work includes chores such as changing the oil in cars by yourself, climbing on roofs to clean the gutters, replacing the insides of leaking commodes, … [Read more...]

I was sitting on the dock at our rental cottage off the Elizabeth River and life was good. I had a cigar in one hand a tall glass of Buffalo Trace Bourbon in the other. I also had a fishing pole baited with fresh shrimp leaning against the rail of the dock. Then I caught a spot, then a croaker. As I said, life is good. Leaning back in my chair I watched the gulls in their aerial ballets and … [Read more...]