I’m getting a new gas grill for Father’s Day. My old one died. The reason I know I will be getting a new grill is because my wife dragged me to Lowe’s to pick one out. Naturally. Nancy didn’t like the El Cheapo one I chose. I always get the cheap ones because – no matter how much you pay – they only last 3 years. Then those little jets that shoot the juice to the flames tucker out and even the Gas … [Read more...]

  I have finally decided what I want to be when I grow up. A frog trainer. It’s a career with unlimited opportunities and very little competition. Afterall, when is the last time you saw a Certified Frog Trainer offering his services on Craig’s List? Here’s how I arrived at my new endeavor. Five of us were sitting on the patio beside our goldfish pond after a southern inspired feast … [Read more...]

  I used to think going to DMV was the worst possible trip a person could take. I’m now thinking that might be the second worst – when comparted to going to the pharmacy to pick up meds. This a typical visit for me. The Robo call says I have a prescription ready. Good. Got to keep that blood pressure under control. There are two other customers ahead of me. It normally takes me two … [Read more...]

  Macon was a beautiful animal, a graceful English setter with feathery white fur and only a hint of orange. He was a big male in keeping with a long line of registered English Setters I have owned out of Grouse Ridge Will. I had a friend with a female setter, which happened to be coming in heat. To the best of our knowledge, neither of these dogs had ever been with another dog, if you … [Read more...]

When we had twin grandsons, I discovered something called “twin speak”. Twins often communicate with each other in words and sounds that they can understand, but others can’t. Jamaicans also speak that way – it’s their dialect and when visiting their interesting island, I learned a little about how to speak in the Jamaican dialect. For starters, almost every conversation and sentence begin … [Read more...]

I come from a long line of pyromaniacs. One of my earliest ancestors, Grog Brewer, was a Southern Neanderthal. It is written on some cave walls that he discovered grits and flint stones with which to start fires. After Grog had invented grits by grinding corn, he needed a way to cook them so they wouldn’t get stuck into what few teeth he had. That’s when he found a sharp flint stone and tried to … [Read more...]

  It’s the most stressful day of the month. It’s C. L. Day, the day the Cleaning Lady comes to our house. A week before C.L. (Cleaning Lady) Day, my wife hands me a list of chores. It reads like this.   - Clean off the top of your dresser and dust it. - Check under the bed for house slippers and any dust bunnies. - Take out the trash cans in every room and clean them with … [Read more...]