I come from a long line of pyromaniacs. One of my earliest ancestors, Grog Brewer, was a Southern Neanderthal. It is written on some cave walls that he discovered grits and flint stones with which to start fires. After Grog had invented grits by grinding corn, he needed a way to cook them so they wouldn’t get stuck into what few teeth he had. That’s when he found a sharp flint stone and tried to … [Read more...]
C. L. Day
It’s the most stressful day of the month. It’s C. L. Day, the day the Cleaning Lady comes to our house. A week before C.L. (Cleaning Lady) Day, my wife hands me a list of chores. It reads like this. - Clean off the top of your dresser and dust it. - Check under the bed for house slippers and any dust bunnies. - Take out the trash cans in every room and clean them with … [Read more...]
All About Grits
(This message comes to you from GRITS, “Girls Raised In The South”) As I sat at the Waffle House putting salt, pepper, and a little Tabasco on my grits, I couldn't help but see the young lady sitting a couple chairs from me dumping half a cup of sugar on her grits. What? Am I eating them wrong? I had to look it up and thought you'd enjoy reading what I learned about … [Read more...]
My Personal Flotation Device
I have a personal flotation device – built in. It extends outward from the middle of my torso several inches. It has expanded greatly since my weeklong cruise where I ate any and everything in sight and gained 7 ½ pounds. Some would crassly refer to my PFD as a “gut”, but I prefer a personal flotation device - a much less crude description. I discovered the value of my PFD when we took a dip in … [Read more...]
Exciting Hallmark Channel Movies
Christmas season is upon us. The reason I know is that every night there are Hallmark Christmas movies on TV. If Nancy beats me to the remote control, that’s what we watch. Often, the movies are about Princes and Kings in little known European countries who end up falling for and proposing to ordinary American women who then become Princesses and Queens. And it happens almost every … [Read more...]
Apple Pines
We well remember the funny words our children said as they learned to talk. Angelin said, “bisticks” instead of “biscuits. Laura said “grips” instead of “grits” and my son Jimmie had an extensive dialect. He called buzzards “bustards”, he referred to roosters as “doodle-o’s” He referred to fish as “sous” and he called pineapples, “apple pines”. Nancy and I still use those words in … [Read more...]
The Signs of the Times
Signs of the Times
Talking To Myself
Recently, I have noticed that I am talking to myself more frequently - out loud. The conversation often starts out as, “Why are you in this room? I know you came here for a reason.” “Oh! To find my glasses, that’s why,” might be the response. So, throughout the day when I’m alone, I’ll talk to myself and have a spirited conversation. The trouble is, my hearing is not what it … [Read more...]
Deer at Your Doorstep
Amazon must be getting desperate for delivery personnel. I see that they hired 3 fawns to drop something off on the front porch of my neighbor’s house. Either that, or the three little moochers were munching on Sandy’s outdoor potted plants. I suspect the latter. The same three fawns have been prowling our Woodbrook neighborhood for about a month. I suspect that Mama deer didn’t look … [Read more...]
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