I’m building a wall in my backyard to keep the illegals away. Not illegal people. Illegal squirrels.
I have a red-tailed squirrel in my back yard and he’s creating havoc, teaching my resident all-gray squirrels some bad habits.
There is actually a species of Red-Tailed Squirrels native to Central and South America. Perhaps the cartels have smuggled this squirrel into my yard. Probably cost him a hundred acorns. But there are also squirrels with gene variations that can cause red-tails and I suspect that’s what I have.
Recently, I saw R.T. (Red Tail) on my front porch rooting around on our wicker loveseat. On closer observation, he uncovered a nut or a seed he had stashed beneath the cushion and proceeded to eat it. Then, yesterday I caught R.T. trying to gnaw off the top of my $50 Audubon Bird feeder that is protected with wire all around but exposed at the top. I managed to shoo him away and have since laced the top of the feeder with red hot squirrel sauce. That should do the trick until it rains.
Somehow, R.T. managed to squeeze though the wire that guards my garden bed and was rooting around in the dirt looking for whatever squirrels look for. I caught him in the act and threatened to smash his head in with a shovel before he escaped through the opened door.
If you happen to be driving through my neighborhood and see a red-tailed squirrel trying to cross the road. Don’t slow down. Speed up. We need to MYGA. Make Yards Gray Again.