The Charlottesville Branch of the Division of Motor Vehicles is seeking a qualified individual as a Front Desk Service Associate to replace Isabel Fang, a longtime DMV employee. Isabel had to leave DMV because she got into a fight with a seeing-eye Pit Bull dog accompanying a blind customer trying to retitle his car. Isabel beat up the Pit Bull pretty badly and the Animal Rights people demanded … [Read more...]

I was treated to a dazzling display of special entertainment this week. My wife, Nancy, performed a little synchronized swimming act in our very own goldfish pond. It happened this way. Nancy had set up a row of chairs beside our pond for front-row observation of our frogs and goldfish. The chairs were less than a foot from the pond and I warned that someone could lose their balance and fall in. … [Read more...]

Fifty-three years is a long time – five decades and change. But that’s how long I have been married to the same lady, the former Nancy Angeline Goldsmith. We tied the knot on March 3, 1968. Remember 1968? Lyndon Johnson was in his last year of office and said there was no way in hell he’d run again. The Vietnam War hung like an albatross around his neck. 1968 was a year of turmoil with … [Read more...]

Sooner or later if you happen to be cooking, you’ll come across these instructions: Pour off the grease. This happens, for instance, when you brown hamburger. The burger gets brown but the grease just sits there and says, “Now what?” You will now be required to pour off the grease from the pan so your spaghetti sauce will not clog half the arteries in North America. But that’s not as simple as … [Read more...]

Well, I got my first Covid shot. No reaction, no swelling, no problem. And to think -  some in the medical community were concerned that it might affect a body’s DNA. Personally, I didn’t notice any change in my appearance, though some say I am little greener than before. I don’t particularly like shots. The only thing I want forced inside me is food, and maybe beer. But they say if you get … [Read more...]

I suppose we have arrived. We now have a live-in maid. Her name is Shirley Mae. She lives under a desk in our bedroom. She is a Roomba, a robot vacuum cleaner. Nancy got Shirley Mae for Christmas. I wish it had been my idea, but it was my daughter, Angelin, who delivered the goods. Shirley Mae has been a great addition to our home. I don’t know why, but ours is one of dustiest houses in … [Read more...]

  Do not let your wives see this article. They think we are a bunch of dumb bunnies and can’t cook our way out of a Kroger’s grocery bag. We’ll show ‘em. About this time every year, ladies go into the kitchen to make special holiday stuff – jellies, cookies, cakes, candy and even fruit cake. They take out every possible pot and pan along with every spice in the rack to create their … [Read more...]

  I began camping with a group of guys in the fall of 1980. Every spring and fall since then, we have reassembled, celebrating our 40th anniversary this October. On the initial camping trip to the Cranberry River in West Virginia, one of my campmates, George Gillespie - who was observing as I cooked breakfast - said that he would bring some Banner Sausage on the next trip and cook it. … [Read more...]

We have many laws governing our universe. There is the Law of Gravity, there is Einstein’s Law of Relativity, there is Newton’s Law of Motion and - of course – there is Brewer’s Law of the Cantaloupe Seed. What? You’ve never heard of Brewer’s Law of the Cantaloupe Seed. That’s only because of government-run schools. They don’t teach real science. The Law of the Cantaloupe Seed is well-proven … [Read more...]