Fifty-three years is a long time – five decades and change. But that’s how long I have been married to the same lady, the former Nancy Angeline Goldsmith. We tied the knot on March 3, 1968. Remember 1968? Lyndon Johnson was in his last year of office and said there was no way in hell he’d run again. The Vietnam War hung like an albatross around his neck. 1968 was a year of turmoil with … [Read more...]

Sooner or later if you happen to be cooking, you’ll come across these instructions: Pour off the grease. This happens, for instance, when you brown hamburger. The burger gets brown but the grease just sits there and says, “Now what?” You will now be required to pour off the grease from the pan so your spaghetti sauce will not clog half the arteries in North America. But that’s not as simple as … [Read more...]

Well, I got my first Covid shot. No reaction, no swelling, no problem. And to think -  some in the medical community were concerned that it might affect a body’s DNA. Personally, I didn’t notice any change in my appearance, though some say I am little greener than before. I don’t particularly like shots. The only thing I want forced inside me is food, and maybe beer. But they say if you get … [Read more...]

I suppose we have arrived. We now have a live-in maid. Her name is Shirley Mae. She lives under a desk in our bedroom. She is a Roomba, a robot vacuum cleaner. Nancy got Shirley Mae for Christmas. I wish it had been my idea, but it was my daughter, Angelin, who delivered the goods. Shirley Mae has been a great addition to our home. I don’t know why, but ours is one of dustiest houses in … [Read more...]

  Do not let your wives see this article. They think we are a bunch of dumb bunnies and can’t cook our way out of a Kroger’s grocery bag. We’ll show ‘em. About this time every year, ladies go into the kitchen to make special holiday stuff – jellies, cookies, cakes, candy and even fruit cake. They take out every possible pot and pan along with every spice in the rack to create their … [Read more...]

  I began camping with a group of guys in the fall of 1980. Every spring and fall since then, we have reassembled, celebrating our 40th anniversary this October. On the initial camping trip to the Cranberry River in West Virginia, one of my campmates, George Gillespie - who was observing as I cooked breakfast - said that he would bring some Banner Sausage on the next trip and cook it. … [Read more...]

We have many laws governing our universe. There is the Law of Gravity, there is Einstein’s Law of Relativity, there is Newton’s Law of Motion and - of course – there is Brewer’s Law of the Cantaloupe Seed. What? You’ve never heard of Brewer’s Law of the Cantaloupe Seed. That’s only because of government-run schools. They don’t teach real science. The Law of the Cantaloupe Seed is well-proven … [Read more...]

They finally got James Bond. Maybe it was Dr. No, but probably Goldfinger. Yes, James Bond died this week. The real and only James Bond – Sean Connery. The others were imposters. They were like Mall Santa’s. Sean was the real deal. I read my first Ian Fleming book back in college. I had seen a review in Playboy Magazine (I only bought it for the articles). I couldn’t put the book down. Just … [Read more...]

  I’d like to meet him someday - the Strawberry Packer, a man of immense skills. The Strawberry Packer is in charge of distribution, to make sure that the strawberries are properly sorted in each 16-ounce container. If every strawberry in the carton was perfectly ripe and juicy, then customers would come to expect that and would surely end up disappointed. But the Strawberry Packer … [Read more...]

  My wife Nancy has become quite the “canner”. We have more Mason jars in our basement than Wal-Mart. Regularly, Nancy cans jalapeno peppers, tomatoes, pickles, doorknob peppers, pickled okra, beets and whatever our gardens produce. She is also into jams and jellies and recently put up 9 pints of peach preserves that are simply delicious. She calls it her “Liquid Gold”. Really … [Read more...]