Bud, an avid golfer, sets off on a round-the-world trip in his new boat, but winds up veering off course and gets lost. He drifts onto a deserted island, where he is stranded, all alone.
Months go by and there’s no sign of rescue, and not even a soccer ball to keep him company. Then one day Bud sees a beautiful mermaid coming out of the surf, heading straight toward him.
The mermaid stops two feet in front of Bud and asks him in sexy voice, “Would you like a drink?”
Bud doesn’t have to think about his answer. “You bet!” he nearly shouts.
The mermaid opens the vest she’s wearing, reaches in and pulls out an ice-cold beer.
Then she asks, “Would you like a cigar?” And Bud quickly answers, “Absolutely!”
The mermaid opens her vest even more and pulls out a Tatuaje Cigar, which Bud lights up immediately with the lighter the mermaid also gives him.
The mermaid bats her eyes, opens her vest even more, and coos to Bud, “Would you like to play around?”
“Wow!” Bud says, “You’ve got golf clubs in there, too?”
Brandon staggered into a hospital emergency room, badly battered and bruised. A nurse and a doctor rushed over to help him to an examining room.
“How did you receive these injuries?” the doctor asked.
“I was playing golf with my wife,” Brandon replied.
The doctor was incredulous. “How could you possibly have been injured this severely playing golf with your wife?” he asked.
Brandon explained what happened. He and his wife both hit their tee shots on the first hole off line. “I hooked mine into the woods, left,” Brandon said, “while my wife hit a huge slice that flew into a cow pasture on the right side of the hole.”
After Brandon found his ball and hit it back into the fairway, he explained, he went to help his wife locate her tee shot.
“I was walking around amongst the cows,” Brandon explained, “when I spotted something white on the backside of a heifer. I went over to it and lifted its tail, and sure enough, my wife’s ball had lodged right in the heifer’s posterior!
“So I pointed at the heifer’s backside and yelled over to my wife, ‘Hey, honey, this looks like yours.’ “