I thought maybe most of my readers and subscribers at CvilleBuzz would go for the great recipes, the gardening and birding tips or for memorable trips to yesteryear and the days of Boomerhood. But, nooooo! They like old jokes – the older and cornier the better.
So here are a few more old golf jokes.
What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes: “Whack…Damn!”
A bad Skydiver goes: “Damn!…Whack.”
Bob stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity. He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but didn’t start his back swing. Finally his exasperated partner asked, “What the hell is taking so long?”
“My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse,” Bob explained. “I want to make a perfect shot.”
“Good lord!” his companion exclaimed. “You know you don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of hitting her from here.”
You can tell it’s too wet to play golf when your cart capsizes.
An Irish golfer was playing the Royal Dublin course on vacation, and while playing, he made a hole-in-one. With that, a leprechaun jumped out from behind the trees and said, “I am the lucky leprechaun of the 13th hole. You made a hole-in-one and I’ll grant you any wish.”
The player thought a bit and said, “Could you make me weeny a bit larger?”
“Wish granted.” says the leprechaun, and he skipped away.
By the time the golfer got to the 14th tee, his member was hanging below his shorts. He continued his round and when he reached the 16th hole, it was dragging along behind him. By the 18th, the wish-granted golfer could barely make it to the green.
The Irishman then went straight to the pro shop and asked the pro how to fix the problem. He was told that legend had it that you had to go back and make another hole-in-one to see the leprechaun again.
After purchasing ten buckets of balls, the golfer made his way back to the 13th and frantically began hitting shot after shot until he at last made another hole-in-one.
Again the leprechaun appeared.
“What’s it this time?” asked the leprechaun. “Want your weenie a bit smaller?”
“No,” the player responded, “Could you make me legs a bit longer?”
If you’re caught on a golf course during a lighting storm, simply hold up a 1-iron and you’ll be safe. Even God can’t hit a 1-iron. Lee Trevino