I have finally decided what I want to be when I grow up. A frog trainer. It’s a career with unlimited opportunities and very little competition. Afterall, when is the last time you saw a Certified Frog Trainer offering his services on Craig’s List?
Here’s how I arrived at my new endeavor.
Five of us were sitting on the patio beside our goldfish pond after a southern inspired feast of barbeque, ‘tater salad, baked beans and cole slaw. Just before dark, a small frog hopped out of the pond and up on the patio, and just sat there as we watched him, and he eyeballed his surroundings. Naturally, I went inside and got a handful of wiggling meal worms from my stash in the refrigerator. I went back outside, sat back in my chair, and tossed some mealies to the frog. He ate each one, then wiped his mouth with his webbed foot. Our dinner party then broke up and we went our merry ways.
But the very next afternoon, I went out to the patio to smoke a cigar, and to watch the bluebirds feed their offspring the mealworms I was scattering. The frog saw me, hopped up again out of the pond and looked me square in the eye. He proceeded to eat the 25 or 30 mealworms I gave him before he took a grand leap back into the pond.
I have now trained the frog to entertain any and all our guests on the patio. He shows up every afternoon. I am now working with my little friend and trying to teach him stand on his hind legs and beg for his treats. A good frog trainer can do that, you know.