What would you do if you went out in your back yard one evening and found yourself face to face with a 350-pound bear and her two cubs? After changing your pants, that is. On a serious note, if you have the presence of mind, experts say to stand and face the bear directly. Never run away from or approach the bear. Make yourself look as big as possible by spreading your arms or, better yet, a … [Read more...]

During the life of an average man there comes a few times when he takes complete leave of his senses and does incredibly stupid things – like go camping. After rising to the top of the food chain and having access to things like heat pumps, wide screen TVs and multiple jet showers, some average men deem it desirable to forego the pleasantries of life and live among a cluster of other humans within … [Read more...]

  My son Jimmie called me from Atlanta recently and said he had a weird red bird at his feeder. He finally identified it as a cardinal with a blue head. He called it a Cardinal Monster. It was not a monster at all, just a cardinal molting his feathers and occasionally cardinals will shed every feather on their heads, revealing a bright blue skin similar to a wild turkey. According to … [Read more...]

(Ed: Note:  My computer had a bad hair day last week and wouldn't connect to CvilleBuzz, so it didn't go out. Here's hoping it makes it to your in-box this week. Thx  Jim)       Well, I mowed my onions last week. Not grass, onions. I may have my best crop ever. My yard grows onions so well that I am thinking of turning it into a wild onion farm. I understand there … [Read more...]

    “Please hold. An operator will be with you shortly!” Yeah, right. And those are friendly Indians, General Custer. Next to an IRS audit, the thing I hate worse in life is having to call a utility company. I had to make such a call last week to shut off phone service as my business was changing locations. The call was to Century Link, a pillar of customer service. “If … [Read more...]

No one knows for sure what causes cataracts. It may have something to do with not eating the required 6 daily helpings of fruits and vegetables and not flossing your eyeballs twice a day. It also seems that age has something to do with developing these nasty little blobs, which can occur unannounced any time after age 50. There was once a time when I could not only read license plates on cars … [Read more...]

  On most balmy evenings before dinner, I offer wood sacrifices to the smoke gods in my now-falling-apart fire pit, an outside fireplace. Bourbon helps since my fire pit has a mind of its own. Sometimes the rusted incinerator will engulf my wood chunks in hot, blue flames while other times it spits billowing mouthfuls of smoke in my direction – no matter where I sit. It helps greatly, … [Read more...]

“Dad, let’s catch a turtle and cook it.” How well I remember those words. My 13-year old son, Jimmie, had approached me one day suggesting a turtle hunt followed by a turtle skinning and turtle cooking. It would be one of those days I would like to forget. Before braces, before three sets of college tuitions and two major weddings, my wife and I owned a neat little cottage on a private lake … [Read more...]

  A few years back, our good friends Charlotte and Dick Forrester took us on a Tacky Light Tour in their hometown, Richmond. All I can say is that those folks in RVA really do it right when it comes to Christmas decorations. But as we passed by many houses, I noted a common theme. Many had a single tree decorated that made absolutely no sense. There would be green lights on one branch and … [Read more...]

  Stuff bothers me. Like can you really get 20 clowns in a Volkswagen, and how can the radio in my car snatch invisible signals out of thin air and turn it into a song? Why does smoke from a firepit always know where I’m sitting and go that way and can woolly worms really predict cold winters or are they just guessing? That brings me to a flock of blackbirds. I saw a big ball of … [Read more...]