(This has been around for a while, but it’s worth a reprint, y’all.)

There ain’t no magazine named “Northern Living” for good reason. Who wants to live up north? Nobody would buy the magazine!

Southerners know everybody’s first name:
Honey 

Darlin’ 

Shugah

Southerners know their three religions:
Bapdiss 

Methdiss 

Football

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, or beans make up “a mess.”

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of “yonder.”

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long “directly” is, as in: “Going to town, be back directly.”

 A Southerner knows that “fixin” can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, … and when we’re “in line,” we talk to everybody!

In the South, “y’all” is singular, all y’all” is plural.

Other things the southerners know

– A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

– There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.

– There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one’s seen before.

– If it grows, it’ll stick ya’. If it crawls, it’ll bite cha’.

– Onced and Twiced are words.

– It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!

– Jawl-P? means: Did you go to the bathroom?

– People actually grow, eat, and like okra.

– Fixinto is one word. It means I’m going to do something.

– There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there’s supper.

– Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you’re two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It’s the Wine of the South.

– Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.

– The word “jeet” is actually a question meaning, ‘Did you eat?’

– Y’all is singular. All Y’all is plural.

– You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.

– You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco, and ketchup.

– The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motorsports, and gossip.

– Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name), or Mister (first name)

– You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

– You know what a hissy fit is.

– Fried catfish is the other white meat.

– We don’t need Driver’s Ed. If Mama says we can drive, we can drive!

– Why did the chicken cross the road? To show that stupid possum that it can be done.