If there is anything better than a basket of hot, crispy French Fries seasoned with lots of salt and drenched with ketchup, I haven’t come across it yet. French Fries are about the tastiest things you can put in your mouth.
Trouble is, that basket of French Fries has about the same number of calories as a bowl full of lard, and those calories can do unmentionable things to your waistline.
But – I have a discovered a way to eat French Fries with zero effect on weight gain,
To properly eat French Fries, you must first eat the little ones – the scrigelins. Start by picking out the very smallest Fries, not the big fat ones.
Little known to modern medicine is the existence of an organ called a Calorie Counter, which sits at the top of the stomach. The Calorie Counter is quite unforgiving and measures calories as they enter the stomach, then spreads the fat around to various parts of the body, usually the waistline.
But if you only eat a one-inch French Fry, the Calorie Counter hardly pays any attention. Afterall, how many calories could possibly be in one, small measly French Fry? It’s practically a waste of the Calorie Counter’s time. Next eat the slightly larger ones, maybe a couple of the 2-inch French Fries, and by now the Calorie Counter is becoming bored and figures there is something better he can do with his time, so he leaves his post and starts measuring things like stomach acid, to make sure there is enough.
Now, you can go for the big, fat French Fries. You eat them quickly before the Calorie Counter returns to his post, and he never knows the difference.
That’s how you eat French Fries.
