What is it about a Cheeto that if you eat just one, you would sacrifice your first born for the rest of the bag. If cocaine is as addictive as a handful of Cheetos, I now know why there are so many addicts.
My best friend, the late Dave Gladwell, was a certified Cheeto-aholic. To Dave a large bag of Cheetos and a cold Miller Beer was a two-course feast. Dave ate so many Cheetos that he had an orange moustache for as long as I can remember. Obviously, someone put something in those Cheetos that is irresistible to human beings – and we have our own government to thank for it.
Cheesy puff snacks and the chaos of warfare may seem diametrically opposed, but our military introduced them, which ultimately led to the top-selling brands, like Cheetos. According to Mr. Wiki, their origin can be traced back to the Natick Soldier Systems Center, the U.S. Army research complex responsible for the development of the U.S. military’s food, clothing, and shelters.
One of the items to come out of the research complex was processed and powdered cheese, which was created for military use in World War II. According to Anastacia Marx de Salcedo, author of Combat-Ready Kitchen: How the U.S. Military Shapes the Way You Eat, by the end of the war “a whole little industry had sprung up to support this dehydrated cheese.” And one of the very first products to use the cheesy powder was the now-ubiquitous Cheetos.
So, our own Army is to blame. I’m going to write them a letter and complain, but first I think I’ll have another Cheeto.
