I did not intend to be a farmer with a crop of corn in my yard, but that’s how it’s all shaping up.
For Christmas, I was the beneficiary of a big bag of dried corn ears. The plan is to screw one the ears on a gizmo hanging from a tree. The squirrels would then somehow locate the ear of corn and eat from it. But that’s not exactly how it works.
Oh, the squirrels found it alright – took them all of 5 minutes. Then the successful squirrel ate one kernel, then bit off another, shimmied down the tree and buried it, as he did with the 300 kernels on that one ear. The same thing happened the next day. My yard now looks like a minefield out of a WWII movie, with thousands of small potholes protruding from the yard. Buried in each of those mini-potholes is a kernel of corn, and come spring, the corn will sprout from the ground and my backyard will look like the Field of Dreams, only in Virginia, not Iowa.
But this is good. In advance of the tax season, I will inform Mr. IRS that I am now a corn farmer and am fully depreciating all of my property over the next five years.
Certainly they will understand, and I will owe it all to the squirrels.